Okay, in today's episode, I am guiding you through a very intentional exercise of setting an intention for 2021 or for the next month or for however long you want to set it for, frankly. Today you're going to learn about what intentions are, like what I mean by that word, why it would be really good to set some intention for the next however long period of time. And then I'm going to walk you through how to do it.
And we'll do some pretty in-depth insight work. And then I just, I just want you to understand how it's going to benefit your life and your personal growth process. So that's what we're doing today.
Stick around. You're listening to Take Out Therapy with your host, Rebecca Hunter. If you're into personal growth and fascinated by the human condition, like I am, stick with me.
In the next few minutes, I'll break down a common personal growth topic and give you some straightforward ideas for change. I'm a private practice therapist and online mental health educator. So I see a lot of popular topics, both in and out of the therapy office that we all struggle with.
I'm here to help with that. This podcast is not a substitute for therapy, but rather the musings of a therapist and an opportunity for information and a little bit of help. Okay, let's get to work.
Yeah. So let's talk about intentions. I love the idea of setting an intention, um, which for me is really a theme word.
Um, every single year when the year starts, I got into doing this not that long ago, actually, my friend, Lori, who's, um, a colleague of mine, another private practice therapist in my town, she was doing like a little, um, yeah, just kind of like this kind of you wrapping up a year and setting intention for the next year. I can't remember what she called it. Um, but it was a beautiful thing where we went and we did some breath work and some stretching and a lot of journaling and just really diving in deep, thinking about the year that had gone by and what we wanted to create for the next year, just in whatever, right.
In, in the personal growth process. And so setting intentions is way different than setting goals. And the reason is, is because goals is like, um, I'm going to do this very specific thing, this number of times in order to achieve the following goal.
Um, yeah, intention is really more subtle and we'll kind of get into that as we go. Um, but it's really helped me in my own life. And, and what I'm going to walk you through today, you're going to come up with a theme word for 2021.
Um, and it really, it has been helpful for me because, um, in my life, basically I have this intention, I have this theme word. And when the word comes up in life, I'm like, oh, how am I doing with that? Right. Or sometimes it comes up in the middle of a situation.
And then I'm like, oh, I could stand to bring that in. So, um, as you might know, in the past year, my word has been patience and it's hard, it's really hard to be patient. And so I just noticed the word coming in and just accepted it to come in.
Not as like, oh, you're not being patient, but rather like just this little cloud that comes in like patience. And then I would sort of be like, oh yeah, I'm being kind of rushy or kind of an ass or whatever. Right.
Um, and, and sometimes it's funny, like when you set an intention and you really kind of work it into your life, it will come up to remind you. Right. And so sometimes the word patience has kind of floated into my presence in a very mysterious way at a, at a moment when I deeply needed it.
You know, sometimes the work of just being a therapist and being really present, um, for long periods of time with somebody else in their experience, it can sometimes be difficult. And so you, you do have to be patient. Um, so the word has also helped me in my work.
It's, really helped me all the way around in my life with the kids, in my relationship, setting an intention. It has the potential to be a game changer. I'm just, I'm just telling you straight up.
Setting an intention is putting your attention on something that you want to have happen. So I have rules to my intention setting process of sorts that I'm going to go through with you. Number one is like, just take your time.
This is not a one, um, one hour exercise. This is an exercise that you can kind of stretch out over the course of a few days. So just really process the questions that I'm going to ask you on a deeper level.
So, Hey, you maybe take notes and be my other rule. Besides take your time and process things, give, you know, like really think things through is be authentic with yourself. Be real with you.
Number one, be real with you about what's really happening in your life and how you feel about it. This exercise, we're going to be taking some accountability for where we're at with things. And so I'll just say, just be real with yourself, be real kind, but be real.
I'm popping in here to interrupt myself because I want to tell you quickly about an opportunity I'm offering as an anxiety specialist. I can tell you that anxiety is on the rise. My friend, stress, overwhelm, and overthinking are just the tip of the iceberg.
I know I'm seeing it in my office in the world. I'm sure you're seeing it too. I want to invite you if you are suffering with any of these things to watch a 30 minute teaching session I did on how to heal anxiety.
At the very least, it will give you ideas for change. And at best you'll leave with a clear roadmap to ditching anxiety for good. I tell you some of the things that will work against you because I see the same mistakes all the time in my office.
And I'll give you concrete ideas about specific things you can do to get your life back. Because here's the deal. Medication does not heal anxiety and neither does therapy.
We do. Access the session at rebeccahuntermsw.com slash healing dash anxiety. The link is right in my show notes.
Okay, back to the episode. So let me walk you through how to figure out a good and appropriate and productive intention for yourself for the next we'll just say this is your intention for 2021. And I'm going to kind of go through and try to create I'm close to my own intention for the year.
So I'm going to kind of go through with you here. And what I would say is like anytime you're getting ready to like, kind of nestle in and do some personal growth work. Always be have your space be really intentional and comfortable for that meaning like, have it be your own space.
So if that means you got to like, you know, go in the bathroom just to get a little bit of space and bring your meditation cushion in there, bring a pillow to sit on, bring your notebook, you know, just like clear some space and open a window and like, you know, smudge if you need to. That's all I'm saying. Claim the space and reset it.
It's kind of a it's kind of an abstract concept that makes a huge difference. Just give it a whirl. Right.
And then before you go into like an intention setting space where you're really thinking deeply about things, just breathe, get in your body. Because if we're not in our body, then we can't feel resonance. And resonance is basically like, is this true for me or what's happening or what am I just like feeling feelings about right now? Like resonances is how our body goes.
Yeah. Yeah. That's something.
Okay. So look for resonance as I'm sort of going through this. And I'm going to go through this pretty quickly, knowing that I've created a little handout that you can download on my website.
The link is in the show notes to I just wrote all the questions out for you, basically, very simply. And so if you need that, just go to my website, it's Rebecca Hunter, MSW dot com slash services, and you'll see it listed there. Or you can just go to my main website.
Anyways, I'm gonna ask a bunch of questions in a short period of time. So just like, when I ask a question, just pay attention to kind of like if you get a, if you get resonance, if you get a Hey, that might be something to think about. Okay.
So how you set an intention for, for the next period of time, how we're going to set our intention today for 2021, is we're going to ask ourselves questions about the past, questions about the present, and questions about the future. Okay. And so the questions and this is a personal growth oriented intention.
And so the questions are about personal growth. And we have to come at them from our highest self, which just basically means not our not our asshole self, not our ego self, but rather are really gentle, compassionate, loving, caring self, right? So some questions we can ask about the past are like, had like, how is this year been in terms of my personal growth? Like, did you do what you said you were going to do? Did you work on what you wanted to work on? Right. Did you follow through? What have you been working on this year? Have you had intention with your personal growth? If so, what was it and how did it go? And if not, like, why not? Right.
And do you think that might be helpful to have really firm intention about what you want to do in terms of your personal growth? Right. So that's just some questions about the past year to help you just kind of suss out like, well, how's it all going? Have you been talking about, you know, going to therapy for six months? Like, get on it. No, this is not where we change your behavior.
Right. Right now, it is so tempting to do that. Like, oh, I didn't do this.
Well, I'll just do that. So forget the rest of the exercise. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Right now, what we're doing is just getting information. We're not problem solving. And even my brain loves to hop into problem solving.
It's like, well, just get on that. Just call somebody. That's not what we're doing right now.
Just notice how it feels to talk about your personal growth process over the past year. You know what I mean? Like, what things have you dug into? What did you go through? What was hard? What was easier than it was the year before? Right? Like, what went well? And what are still some wounds that need to get healed? Because that's never ending. I promise you that.
Right? We're always going to be getting more aware of who we are and being in relationship with ourselves and growing and healing. We're always going to be doing that. Okay, so now that you've kind of sussed out like kind of what happened, right? What's going on with the past? Let's move into the next phase, which is like, asking personal growth oriented questions about right now.
Like, how is life feeling? My friend? How's it going? What are you working on? What's really hard for you right now? Right? That's a nice place to kind of do some exploration. I say nice place. You're like, oh, this sounds like a hoot.
Right? But no, we want to just kind of like get a level set. What's your baseline, man? What's your 2021 baseline? Like, what are you accountable for? Right in this moment of your personal growth process during the past year, or for where you're at right now? And what I mean by like, what are you accountable for? I mean, what's within your control that you would like to change? That's something you're accountable for. Right? Like, how would you like to see life change for yourself? Right now? Where are you at with personal growth right now? That's what these questions are about.
And if these questions bring up more questions, all the better. Again, you're just getting oriented to where you're at right now with things. How's your relationship with yourself? Always an excellent question.
That is at the root of most of what we have going on, my friends. I work very closely with people who have intense anxiety. And at the root of intense anxiety is a ruptured relationship with ourselves.
So that is what personal growth is. It's learning to be in a functional, healthy, loving relationship with ourself. So you've asked yourself a ton of questions at this point, right? And maybe just listening to my podcast, you're like, Oh, yeah, this is great work for me to do.
I kind of feel like I'm getting my baseline, right? Of like, what I'm really want to focus on this year. And maybe it's like what you wanted to focus on last year, but like, weren't really sure how to do it in an intention just somehow feels right. Okay.
Or maybe it's a continuation of what you have been working on, but just a different word. Great. Right.
So what we're going to do now is just like, again, narrow that further down. So we talked about the past year, we talked about old wounds, we talked about, you know, getting oriented to where you're at right now with personal growth. What is one area that you could focus on this year as like a theme? 2020 was the year of patience.
I think 2019 I think my word was mindfulness. To be honest, I think 2019 is when I really started digging into my mindfulness practice this year. Ooh, I'm thinking I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I had a well, so I'll run this through a little bit for you just to see how you get to one area of focus. So in asking myself questions about the past year, and getting oriented to my own personal growth, like this year's been great in terms of personal growth.
That is to say, I have been doing personal growth work, not that I have perfected the art. I've learned a ton about myself as a business person, as somebody in a relationship as a parent, like, I think that I have been really open this year to just like seeing myself. And part of that was kind of being more patient, and frankly, being patient with myself, but also like just being patient in the business.
And just like, if you can just like slow down, Rebecca, and be patient, you'll see what's happening, right? Because I was sort of rushing through things and not really seeing where things were glitchy, or not going well, or whatever. And you know, of course, in relationships, like, dude, being patient over the past year has served me well. So that's gone really good.
The places that I feel difficulty in life is that sometimes I get into this mind space of like, things aren't good. For whatever reason, I don't, you know, I haven't really done all this insight work yet. But right now, what I know is that it's very impactful, right? When I'm sitting in the middle of a good situation and going, this isn't good, something isn't happening for me.
So what I'm thinking about for and I'm just like modeling for you here how to get narrow, right? What I'd really like to see change for myself is that I want to see what's good. So right now, like, in coming into like a word, it's a little bit hard. So I think where I'm at is like, what's good here, which I talked about last week on the podcast is like, what's good here, instead of being focused on kind of the problems and what's what needs to be fixed and blah, blah is like just taking a moment and being like, well, what's working? What's good here? And so hopefully, that kind of gives you an idea of what I mean about like, really bringing it down to a focus because here's the deal.
An intention is just a word. It's basically like, this is a word that I'm going to use as a cane this year, or as a coat this year, whatever, right? It's just going to be with me. I'm just going to repeat it when I think of it.
I'll put a little sticky note on my mirror. And it'll just be something that comes up for me when it's time to give it some thought. And so this is so different, isn't it? Then like what we're used to, which is like, well, wait a second.
What's the action behind that? Well, the action behind it is when that phrase comes up, or that word comes up to do what feels manageable to you. So if that means to change a conversation, if that means to take a break, if that means to see what's good, if that means to slow down, if it means to practice mindfulness, it just all it is, is just an intention. It's just a thing that you place there that you're in relationship with, and you decide how much room it takes.
It's just a theme like no pressure, man. Okay? I don't want to create any pressure. You don't need another thing on your to do list.
Neither do I. But it's easy to place a word in your life or phrase in your life. It's game changing. It's a nice focus for personal growth work.
So like, for example, if you're having difficulty in your relationship, which I think many people are on the back end of this COVID thing, are we on the back end? I don't know. Anywho, if you are finding your relationships to be difficult, maybe there's something that you could take accountability for there and work on there that could be a theme in your life. What if the word was gentle? Right? One thing that we have to acknowledge is we are not our best friend.
We are not our best selves. Gentle could be an intention to create like a different feel, a different vibe, a different intention. Do you see what I'm doing there? So just play around with things.
So hopefully this is exciting for you and hopefully this had some resonance. Hopefully you're like, oh, yeah, this is perfect for me. I'm so done with the New Year's resolutions.
That's so like 2000. Come on. Anyways.
I've got some fun things planned. I am going to take a break and I will be back with more episodes probably in February. I'm going to take a little bit of a longer break and plan them out and work on my work on my relaxation skills.
In the future I'm going to dig into anxiety. I'm going to do an episode on why Woo is coming mainstream and it is, you cannot deny it. I'm going to I'm really going to dig into the most popular episode that I ever did was the codependency episode.
So yeah, let's go there. I'm going to do another episode about codependency and how it shows up in our everyday lives. And then I think probably I will do something to help us come on out of COVID, which might be a series, might not.
Let me know what you think about that. One thing I want to tell you guys is I love you and I appreciate you for being here. And sometimes you send me the most amazing emails and messages and all the things.
So some beautiful person sent me this email today and I literally almost started crying. It says, I find your episodes so helpful and I find your candor not only refreshing and hilarious, but it also makes it easier for me to really relate to and internalize what you're saying. Keep doing you.
You're having a positive impact on my life and as a result, the lives of my friends and family too. Thank you so much for this beautiful review of my podcast. Um, this is not easy sometimes you guys, it's not easy to like, okay, now I have to sit in my office and talk to myself about something.
Um, it's, it's a, it's a very abstract thing, making a con a podcast. So I appreciate you for being here and I appreciate you for acknowledging what I'm doing, which is trying to put more mental health education out in the world, trying to reduce some stigma. If you like this podcast, it really helps if you subscribe, send it along to friends and just keep listening.
Let's work together to change the face of mental health. Shall we? I have a bunch of unpaid content. I also have two paid programs, which you can find on my website, Rebecca hunter, msw.com. I also will have that worksheet up for you, which is just basically like an intention setting question based worksheet, which might be really helpful for you as you kind of dig into what you got out of 2020 and get into your theme, your intention for 2021.
Um, yeah, um, that this is fun work. I enjoy being here. I enjoy doing it.
Um, so thanks for being here with me. And of course, as always, yeah, I'm a therapist, but this show is not meant as therapy, but rather education. Thanks for being here.
