I'm Rebecca Hunter and this is Take Out Therapy. As a private practice therapist, I've helped a lot of people work through some of the most common everyday issues using new tools and greater insight. If you have any interest in doing some personal growth work, this might be the perfect place for you.
In the next 20 minutes, I'll walk you through a commonly explored topic in therapy and provide you with actual tools to deal with it. It's that simple. Obviously, this is not a substitute for therapy, but I think it could be helpful.
Thanks for being here. Hello, hello, my friends. Thank you so much for being here with me today on the Take Out Therapy podcast.
I'm pretty psyched. I feel like from the time I started this podcast until today, the numbers have just been steadily going up. And what does that tell me? Well, frankly, it tells me that we need more information about mental health, about ourselves, about our relationships, about what we can do to get some change going up in here.
So let's keep going on that today. It's been an interesting time and I continue to blame the pandemic for literally everything. And I actually really enjoy using it as an out, don't you? Like it's not me.
It's the pandemic. Anyways, I realized in the past couple of weeks, well, so the last episode that I did, I recorded in Colorado in my bed in my hotel room because I was there with my son. I took him to visit some schools.
Actually, that wasn't really the game plan. The game plan was like, I'm leaving, going anywhere, somewhere, and sure, I'll take Will with me and maybe we can look at some schools. P.S. Like Colorado, hello, you guys, your state is beautiful.
I know you have wildfires. I'm thinking about you right now. But damn, it was so pretty there and just getting into nature every single day.
We hiked a lot. We had deep conversations. My son's 17.
He's at a crux point of his life, this place where he has to make some decisions about the future. We just like dug in deep. How would you like to have a therapist for a mom? My poor kids.
Anyway, I'm like, how are you doing emotionally? How are you going to reach your goals in life? Anyways, I realized after getting home from that trip that I had been so deeply disconnected and mostly, I think, disconnected from myself. I would say on a deeper level, I want to talk about this today because I think that we can go through our life and be like, no, no, man, I'm good. I'm good.
I'm getting all my stuff done. I'm going to work every day. I'm helping people.
All of that was super true. My work's not suffering. I'm super effective in therapy with people.
I'm helping them reach their goals. I'm plugging away on my online business, which continues to stretch me in ways that I never thought it would. I'll talk about that at some point on this podcast and the challenges of starting a business and starting a movement of trying to help people understand that they can absolutely heal themselves in terms of their mental health and that we are really more empowered than we're, frankly, led to believe in our lives.
One of the things that I realized after coming back from Colorado was that I was deeply disconnected with my own deeper sense of me and who I am, which maybe I'm talking about this in a spiritual sense and maybe I'm just talking about it on a deeper level of who am I, what are my capabilities, how can I get out of my head, frankly, and get into my body and be more connected to me on a daily basis? I started talking with people about this and what the conversations have been is we're all feeling really disconnected from ourselves, which leads us to a lot of symptomatic ways of being, which is like, well, drinking is super trending right now. I don't know if you've seen all the memes online. I kind of have to eye roll a little bit.
Are we really encouraging people to over drink right now? Why? Why is that even a thing that there's a lot of talk about, I'm done with this. I'm just going to dissolve myself in a bottle of wine. While that's super understandable, it further disconnects us from ourself and we're disconnected from our friends and there's a lot of increasing depression and anxiety.
I'm seeing a ton of people, teens and young adults right now who are really, really suffering because this COVID situation is very, very difficult. It's difficult on parents right now. It continues to be difficult on parents.
Thank God my kids aren't young. And it's really straining relationships. You might've thought you liked your spouse before, but now you're kind of like, who are you and what are you doing in my house still? So I live in a small town and all the relationship therapists are booked.
They're booked, which is discouraging and also points to the lack of resources. I don't know how it is in your community, but yeah, let's talk about this disconnection. And I did a lot of things last week after I got back from Colorado to get re-hooked up with myself.
And one of the super interesting things that happened during this whole thing for me is that I have a little shed out in the back of my house that I call my studio. And my studio is basically like a shed that I ripped down to the studs with my dad. And we built this like little, it's just a little room basically.
And it has a heater. It doesn't have AC. I don't use it a ton in the summer because it's pretty hot out there, but now it's coming into season.
But when the pandemic hit, I basically like had to stay home. And so I kind of moved my work into my studio and it became less of a Rebecca Zen, creative, happy place and more of like, this is my office. And so my computer was out there and I got like, you know, my big screen and my keyboard and my mouse and, you know, not just the laptop, but like the full setup and moved all my work out there.
And I worked out there for months. And then I basically kind of lost my shit a little bit. And I was like, I got to go back to my office.
So now I'm sitting in my office recording this podcast and I work in my office on my work days and I never bring my laptop home because the other thing that happened was there became zero separation between home and work. So you guys know like, yeah, I'm a therapist, but I'm also a human. So I fall into the holes just like you do my friend.
And so I had no boundaries. I was working all the time, not seeing clients all the time. I just see clients when I see clients, but I was like working on my website and working on my online business and trying to, you know, kind of push my online classes forward a little bit and there was no boundaries.
And when I moved back, when I moved all my stuff out of my studio and came back down to the office, I stopped using studio altogether. So I started like kind of coming down here and working more of like a nine to five work schedule because what am I going to do? Just like go home. And my kids, you know, you guys know my kids are older.
They're not like tapping their feet like whoops for dinner. They could care less. They're just like, oh, you were gone.
I had no idea. So you know, so I just started working a lot basically. And I wasn't using my studio space.
And one of the things about my studio space is it is awesome. It has all my woo woo stuff in there. I have like all these beautiful rocks and gems and crystals.
I have all my tarot decks out there. I have, I always like burn. I always smudge it before I start to work.
And I just like stopped going out there. I've got a yoga mat and a foam roller and I stretch and I listen to Steve Gold and it's just like a really nice. It's just a really nice.
Frankly, it's like the only place on in my home where it's like lady time, you guys. So don't forget, I live with three males. Well, two now because one moved out.
Sad, sad. So it's like the testosterone free zone and I like it that way. It's my own creative space.
And so me and my dog, who's also a female, we really enjoy it out there. Like if you ask Lily, do you want to go to the studio? She will stand in front of the studio door for an hour if she has to in order to be admitted into the lady zone. So anyways, I'm going on and on.
But my point here is like that was a place that I really got connected with myself and I stopped going out there because my life and my schedule and just the way things were just totally shifted. And what happened when I came back from Colorado is that I was really, really sad and I was really, really disconnected because I'm tearing up. My son left and that's so hard.
For those of you who have gone through the launching of a child, it's really hard. Hey, why didn't you call me and tell me this? I would have liked to know. So I was really sad and I was like, I've got to do something to get back into my own life.
Like it's not that sad that he left. Like I'm stoked. Hello? Does anyone else feel like we want to raise the kids and have them live in our house forever? No way.
But I also like when I came back from Colorado, it became very clear to me that we were a man down. So I went out to my studio and I reconnected with myself. And in that process, I realized like, oh my gosh, like we as a society, we as a culture, we as human beings, as people, we're really disconnected.
And we have to get reconnected because what I'm hearing about and what my conversations have been about is like, people are really feeling super disconnected from themselves. They're feeling disconnected in their relationship. And the impact of that is that we're sad and we're angry and we're agitated all the time and anxious and depressed.
We're getting unhinged. And so let's get rehinged, you guys. We have to get reconnected with ourselves and who we are in our body, in our potential.
Because being disconnected is really unmotivating. Are you feeling unmotivated? Because I was feeling like I don't care about anything. I'm just going to take the easy way out.
And frankly, I'd like to stay in bed all day. I was feeling incredibly uninspired. Are you feeling uninspired? Because disconnection breeds this like meh about life.
We get uninspired. We're totally disengaged. And we're mad.
We have a lot of anger and resentment. And I think a lot of couples are going through that right now. So if we can get reconnected, we can live our lives.
We can get re-motivated to do what's really personal and important for ourselves. We can feel peaceful. We can get calm.
We can just like slow down. We can reconnect with our kids in a way that's meaningful and attached with them. Instead of like, yeah, they're super irritating because people have had to be with their kids all this time.
And they're like having to teach them and stuff. For those of you whose kids get to go to school, like good on you. And also, are you getting reconnected with yourself within that process? Because there's a lot of joy and peace and just inner peace that we can get at when we take the time to connect with ourselves.
So what am I talking about? I'm talking about basically hooking back up with you. The you that resides inside of you. Not your mind.
Not just your body. But the deeper you. The knowing that you have about your own capability.
Your uniqueness. Your mojo, my friend. Am I talking about this in a practical way or a spiritual way? The answer is absolutely yes.
Both. Okay? So I'm going to do something fun. The first week in November, I'm going to do something called Connection Week.
So the first full week in November, I'm basically every day going to make a little video and give you some ways to get reconnected to yourself. And so some of them will be very practical things that you can do. And you guys, some of them are going to be spiritual.
The way I think about spirituality is like, what are the moments of your life when you feel like you're part of something bigger? It's not about religion. It's about understanding your place on earth and your place, your purpose here, and being connected to yourself in a way that's really empowering and feels really grounded. So I'll do that the first week in November.
So follow me on social media. I'm at RebeccaHunterMSW. But for now, let me give you some quick ideas about how to get connected for today.
Okay? Grounding is really important. And doing a lot of hiking in Colorado was a great experience for me because when we hike, we're required to breathe. And there's an opportunity to get into our feet, basically, is kind of how I feel.
Like it's a connection to the ground in which you feel like you're kind of part of everything. So doing some breathing, standing in the grass, going for a walk, and actually feeling your feet against the ground, or just sitting down, right, on the grass or in the sand. Do you ever go to the beach? It's so grounding.
Why does the beach feel so grounding? I don't know. But it's important. These moments where we feel like, oh, this is so nice.
I feel so much better. Ding, ding, ding. Put an asterisk on that, baby, because that is a moment in which you feel connected.
So if it's spiritual, great. If it's just nature, great. I think nature and spiritual are the same.
But I won't get into that right this second. But getting grounded is very important. And nature absolutely can have something to do with that because we're living.
We are earthlings. That means something, okay? So how else do you get connected with yourself? I would love to hear from you. For myself, I do some... I do, like, a little bit of energy work.
Like, if I go into a space to work, like, for example, I'm in my office today. I burn some... I do a little smudging. I burn a little sage.
I have a tiny little stick left of calo santo that I'm finishing up before I don't use that anymore. But it smells so good. What are we going to do about that? But I basically, like, think of the emotions and the feelings and the kind of vibe that I don't want to be in the room.
And being a therapist, you know, people come in with all kinds of stuff. They come in with trauma. They come in with deep, deep sadness and hurt.
They come in with anger and resentment. They come in with disconnection. So I just kind of... I bring all those things up and I whoosh them out the window.
I just sort of, like, create this, like, little visual... I just create a little visual of, like, just kind of sweeping the space of all the negative emotion and stuck feelings so that I can make way for some positive things. Like, what do you want to bring in, right? I generate those emotions as well. Like, I want to be creative.
I want to be happy. I want to feel really empowered. I want to have good ideas.
I want to understand my own power to be helpful to people. And so I kind of just, like, bring those things in. And I bring them in through my body.
Like, I sit and I think, like, what does it feel like to be grateful? What does it feel like to be happy? What does it feel like to be empowered? And I kind of just, like, allow myself to feel all of those things. And so smudging is a really important part of kind of my own ritual. Here's the deal.
Like, I don't really think that there's a right or wrong way to do some of these things. I think it's all about kind of how you think they feel good to you. So if smudging is not your thing, maybe you're somebody who enjoys prayer.
Like, great. So sit somewhere that is meaningful to you, that feels really good to you. And get involved in that activity on an emotional level.
Clear out some negative emotion and bring in what you're looking for. It's a great way to connect with yourself. You know, the other thing that I will be going over in Connection Week is having an altar.
An altar is, again, not really a secular idea, but it's rather just a little place somewhere that's yours, that has things that are meaningful to you. Things that have both spiritual and practical meaning to you. I love birds.
I'm, like, kind of a bird nerd. And I really love owls. And I live in the Pacific Northwest, so we see eagles quite a bit.
So I have, like, a little picture of an owl and an eagle. I have a crystal that a friend gave me. I have a couple feathers that I found.
I've got all kinds of things. I have this beautiful ring that I got at a music festival one time. I actually have a champagne cork on my altar that represents just celebrating being in relationship.
And so when I'm sitting with these items, I feel really connected to my own self and my own life. It's just an example of something that we can do to get hooked up to ourselves. There's so many other ways.
And I talked about some of them last week in, like, exercise and stretching and putting on a good song and dancing is always, always part of my connection routine. And there was some dancing that happened last week. I love my little studio because no one can see in the windows.
And, you know, when we're really spending time with ourselves and getting hooked up with ourselves, it's nice to have privacy. I just want to go, like, kind of edgy here and say that sometimes it's a good idea to be sexually playful with yourself in order to connect with yourself. Like, how about giving some pleasure, my friend? Is that something you've done in a while? Because it's funny how life kind of gets ahead of us and we forget how important it is to nurture our own relationship with ourself.
Right. And my idea of self-pleasure might be a private moment with myself where yours might be painting your nails. OK.
And so we all get to sort of express that loving, kind, supportive connection with ourself in a different way. But if we can take some time this week to get connected to ourself, and again, I'll walk you through some different things the first week in November in order to do this, I think we can kind of come out of this sad, angry, anxious, depressed, unhinged, unmotivated, uninspired, and disengaged place that we're in. So what I want to say to you is this.
The most important connection that you have in your life is your connection with yourself. Be responsible for that. Be accountable for that.
And take care of yourself, my friend. I will be here with you doing the work, just like always. Thanks for listening.
Just a reminder, November 1st to the 7th is going to be Connection Week. So if you're interested in joining me for a week of learning all kinds of different ways to reconnect with yourself in what promises to be a very tumultuous week, November 1st to the 7th, come on along. Follow me on social media.
I'm at RebeccaHunterMSW. I will be making short videos every day to just teach you a few little things about some different ways to connect with yourself. We'll be talking about brain-body stuff, gratitude, building alters, clearing energy, being in nature, maybe doing some breath work, and definitely talking about dancing and movement.
So come on along. Join me on social media, and let's stay connected with ourselves. I'm at RebeccaHunterMSW.
See you then. I hope you found today's show helpful. It would mean a lot to me if you'd rate, review, or subscribe so that we can reach more people with this type of information.
Here's the deal. I'd like to get rid of some of the stigma around mental health, and this is how I'm doing it. We just need to have these conversations.
If you really want to dig in, join me on social media or join my private Facebook group for more tools, support, and possibilities for change. Head to the link in the show notes at RebeccaHunterMSW.com. Way to show up today.
