I'm Rebecca Hunter and this is Take Out Therapy. As a private practice therapist, I've helped a lot of people work through some of the most common everyday issues using new tools and greater insight. If you have any interest in doing some personal growth work, this might be the perfect place for you.
In the next 20 minutes, I'll walk you through a commonly explored topic in therapy and provide you with actual tools to deal with it. It's that simple. Obviously, this is not a substitute for therapy, but I think it could be helpful.
Thanks for being here. Hello, my friend. Here is what I know.
We can all make a difference in this world if we choose to. If we decide that we want to make a difference and go about it in an organized, less chaotic fashion, I think we can do a lot of good. My goodness, hasn't 2020 been interesting, but we're learning a lot.
I think this is a year, I think, you know, like it's up to me to determine the meaning of all this stuff. None of us can do that, but I do think this is a year of disruption and change of great magnitude. We have experienced isolation, sickness, fear, outrage, and confrontation.
Let's meet up with it, right? Let's figure out what all this shit means and how we're going to make a difference, unless you're choosing to settle into the misery of 2020. I'm not. You know, that's the thing about my work is that people are so used to the status quo, you guys.
I see it so much, just like, let's just do what we do and we'll hope for the best. And I don't know about you, but that's not the kind of life I want to live. We've just come into this place of vast complacency is the only way I can think of to describe it.
Vast complacency. We just, we kind of are like, well, I guess that's how things are, you know, and also we just kind of feel powerless, like we're fleas on a dog's back, right? We're just like, we're doing our little thing, going through our motions in our own little heads, right? And we get stuck in our heads and we get stuck in our lives. Stuck in our own, you know, just like stuck in our own view of the way things are and the way things have been for us, right? We just, we have our own perspective and sometimes we just get really stuck there.
And actually that's a function of being human. So that's kind of the default of being a human being. It's like, just hang here for a minute.
But vast complacency. What do you think about that? I think that 2020 is just like going to kick our ass and say, oh, hey friend, this complacency, it's a no go. It's not meaningful for one thing.
Like what are we doing? What are we doing here? Have you ever wondered? Complacency might not be good enough. So it makes me think about like making a difference, you know, and part of why I'm talking to you right now, frankly, is my way of trying to make a difference in this world. You know, if we all feel like we can do a little something or a lot of something, that would be so great.
It would be so much less disempowered, right? And immobile. Because I think a lot of people just feel like, oh, I don't even know where to begin. I talked about that last week.
It's like, you know, we want to do so much that we just do nothing. And that's so hard. And life is really difficult, right? So we get a little bit victimized by it.
We feel like life is happening to us, right? We feel like we're just getting our butt kicked. Life's happening to me. And I would say like, if we want to make a difference, one thing we need to do is shift our mindset.
What about this idea that life is happening for us? What about that? How would it be if that was your belief? Interesting, right? Feels less like I'm getting my butt kicked. And it feels more like, gosh, you know, if life's happening for me, what are the opportunities? What are the opportunities to make a difference? So let's talk about that. I want to give you a few ways that if you're kind of like scratching your chin, like I have been, right, at times in my life, and you're thinking, I think I need to do something about this, right? Here's how you do it.
You kind of need to, you know, you just kind of have to have a method to follow so that you can keep yourself in check. You know, we just like to do the same thing over and over. And so again, that's the default mode, not changing.
So the first thing you want to do is just look for an area of the world that you feel a lot of feelings about, right? And I like to use the word passion. Passion is like you are fired up. So fired up.
I mean, like super excited and you have a ton of ideas, right? Positive or like maybe it really makes you super angry. Maybe you see some of this injustice in the world and there is a lot of passion there. Does that make sense? So for me, an area where I have always been really passionate, so it's kind of like negative and positive, right? Because the way the mental health situation is in my community, in my country, right? It pisses me off.
And there's a lot of specifics to that because I've done some work around it and figured out like what exactly is it that bothers me here? And so there's like negative there and there's also positive because I'm like, okay, I can make a difference. I can do something different. How many therapists do you know with a podcast? Right? Not that many.
I have a lot of, so I'm doing, right? So you look for an area of passion. That's where I'll leave you there. And then you want to examine yourself in terms of strengths and weaknesses.
Meaning, what are you good at that you could apply to your area of passion? Like, what things are you good at? So it's important to just really have an objective look at yourself. And actually, you could employ the help of a good friend. Believe me, you, friend, they know your strengths and weaknesses.
And if you have good friends, they'll tell you what they are, right? So I know that my strengths is I really enjoy speaking to people. I do it all day long. I really enjoy that connection.
And I really have always loved teaching. So those are my strengths. And then my weaknesses are, you guys, I really do not deal well with bureaucracy.
It is not an area I would ever get involved in working in anymore, ever again. Because it's just something that I haven't, that I'm not comfortable with. And that is, I just get super fired up in a negative way.
And that's not constructive. So I haven't done my work there yet. Right? And I'm not a great planner.
Like, I really like being invited to things. But I'm not so much on planning. And my friends know this about me.
And it's kind of, you know, I'm sure they just roll their eyes. But that's how I am, right? Weaknesses. You have to look at what you're good at or what you, where the passion lives in those strengths.
And then weaknesses are like, you probably ought to avoid this. Right? I don't work great in teams either. I always was like, group project.
Ugh. I hate group projects. Anyway.
So that's just an example of what kinds of things you can look at as far as your strengths and weaknesses go. Like, if you're not a writer, don't write a book. Okay? And then, you know, another way that you can kind of move towards figuring out how to make a difference is to really organize your energy.
Meaning. Like, do you want to make a difference on an individual level? Maybe there's something you'd like to work on about yourself before you can kind of go out in the world and make a difference. Right? Everything happens on an individual level first.
Or maybe you want to take a look at your family dynamics and do some work there. Because that's going to make a huge difference. Right? There's a few people involved there.
Or local. Right? Your community. Believe me, there's places to make a difference in your community.
How about nationwide? How about worldwide? There are people making a difference on a planetary level. Right? And so, my point in this one is, like, organize your energy. Don't look around you for how to help.
Look inside you. Like, we all have our own work to do. And it's pretty personal how we choose to come out into the world.
Right? And also, it's not personal. Because accountability is really important. We learn about this every day.
And it's becoming more and more important. Which is great. That's how we build community.
So, like, maybe you're like, okay, so, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I know what I'm passionate about.
I know the things I'm good at and that I shouldn't get involved in yet. And I know kind of on what levels I would like to affect change. Now what? Okay? So, always be willing to learn.
Learn something new that you don't know about where you want to be helpful. Or where you want to make a difference. Think about what very specific aspects of this situation get under your skin.
So, you want to look for the rub. You want to look for first probably there's this, like, negative passion. Right? Like, this is not okay.
And then there can generate, you can generate, right? Well, what would, what could you do here that would be positive? But first of all, you have to get in touch with that negative energy. And so, when you notice yourself bristle or getting really uncomfortable, oh, yeah, that's the other thing. You're going to want to be willing to get uncomfortable.
If you want to make a difference in the world. Just so you know. Like, making a difference is personal growth work.
Okay? And personal growth work requires that our brain be open to change, which it never is. So, what I'm saying is that when we decide to make a difference, it's kind of like a big decision because we're going to move in that direction. And sometimes that's going to mean we are sludging through some mud.
Take it from me. Right? So, we just kind of have to be willing to get uncomfortable. And then we always want to listen to other people's lived experiences.
So, listen all the way around. Okay? And that is really important because that's how we build community. And, you know, we could do that.
We could build community. That would be awesome. The more, the merrier.
Right? Which means, like, if you're going to learn to ā€“ well, learn about something and then be willing to get uncomfortable about it. And in so doing, you'll be hearing other people's experiences. Right? You're going to want to take some action.
So, be willing to take a class or read a book, listen to some podcasts, or try something new. Because it's all fine and dandy to feel complacent and decide, like, I'm going to come out of that. I'm going to direct my life in the direction of making a difference here.
And here's what I'm passionate about. And here's what I'm going to, you know, do within that. And here's kind of where I'm going to, you know, organize my energy on this scope.
And then you just have to believe, right, that you can absolutely make a difference. You have to learn about yourself, learn about other people, learn about real-life experiences, and then just be willing to take some action, you guys. I saw a great post on social media the other day that was, like, all these things.
If you feel like you want to take action and you just don't know what to do right now, it was, like, this huge list of things you could do to learn and just, like, take action. Right? Because in the end, I think making a difference is entirely possible if you just decide to take action. So do some work around how to be the most effective and passionate change agent that you can be.
I love that term. An agent for change. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Anyway. Yeah, you guys, be willing to make yourself purposely uncomfortable. It's really good for your brain.
You know, with all the stuff going on right now, my son comes to me and he says, I want to give all my money in my bank account to Black Lives Matter. I'm like, that is awesome. And we talked about it for a while, and then, you know, I'm like, well, look into, like, what do you want to do? Like, what do you want your money to do? Right? How do you want it to help on a real, like, personal level? And we talked about that for a long time.
And it's interesting because it's been this ongoing conversation, right, me and a 16-year-old, about, like, how to help and, you know, recognizing in there that, like, there's a lot of learning involved in making a difference. I know it from my own business. Like, I'm a therapist and not a podcaster.
I've had to learn a lot, right? And also, I have so much more to learn, not just about business, but about life, about relationships, about race, all the things. Guys, so I will be here with you doing the work. Thanks for listening today.
Go out there and make a difference, friend. You got this. This episode is sponsored by the Anxiety Course, an online recovery program for people with anxiety.
As an anxiety survivor and a therapist, I've treated a lot of anxious folks, including myself. Let's just say I've done my homework. And here's what I know.
Not everyone needs therapy to deal with stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. I developed this online learning program for people that want a different option to healing. Sign up to get on the wait list at RebeccaHunterMSW.com. The link's also in the show notes.
I hope you found today's show helpful. It would mean a lot to me if you'd rate, review, or subscribe so that we can reach more people with this type of information. Here's the deal.
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Head to the link in the show notes at RebeccaHunterMSW.com. Way to show up today!
