You are listening to Take Out Therapy, speedy sessions for everyday problems. This is your host, Rebecca Hunter. In my role as a private practice therapist, I don't really just tell people what to do, but in this podcast, I'm doing things differently.
In the next few minutes, I'm just going to be straight up with you about what to do in certain situations. Keep listening for awesome tips on how to live a more intentional and less reactive life. Clearly, this is not a substitute for therapy, but I guarantee it might help you.
Listen up. Hi, friends. Thank you so much for taking the time to come to session today because I think we have some things that we need to talk about.
As I record this, it's March 30th, 2020, and some big shit's going down in the world right now. It's scary. It's disturbing.
It's disruptive, to say the least. Everybody is dealing with a lot of different negative emotions around this current day pandemic, and also, there's good stuff happening, but frankly, our brain being the machine in our body that keeps us safe, we're going to be real focused on the problem of this thing, which is great. We need to be real focused on the problem of this thing, but also, and there's room for us to be focused on what's here for us.
That's what I want to talk to you about today. I'm naming this episode 10 Ways to Stay Sane. The intention of the episode is just really to support people in a very concrete way in getting you action items that you can practice every single day to not lose your freaking mind right now.
Okay? My overall objective is to provide information to get you through hard times, because here's the thing, you guys. This is really hard, what we're going through right now, but life is really hard sometimes. When life is hard, there are things for us to learn.
There are things for us to learn about ourselves, because frankly, when things are really hard, all of our neuroses, all of our patterns, all of the things that we would really appreciate changing about ourselves, those things come out when times are tough. Yeah. Is there room for that, and can we look at that a little bit differently? Rather than saying, I'm so effed up, I can't handle this, and just like, people are just flipping out right now, rightly so, frankly.
I had to make myself a coffee in the middle of the day just to record this episode, right? We're not at our best. This is very difficult. Is there something here for us, right? If you're on a path of personal growth, which I hope you are if you're listening to this podcast, otherwise, you might just be like, who is this lady, and what does she want with me? If you're on your personal growth path, then hopefully, when times are tough, and you see those parts of yourself that you are wanting to work on, or frankly, accept, then there's opportunity here.
These 10 things will hopefully help you out just in general, here in April of 2020, May and June, probably, too, and also in other situations, so onward. I will just get going here. I made the list of 10 ways to stay sane, and then I added like five things, so if it kind of seems like it's a little more than 10, it might be.
Okay, number one, one way to stay sane is to stay in the present moment. This is such an abstract thing. What in the hell am I even talking about, stay in the present moment? You're here.
You're here with me right now, right? It goes just a little bit deeper than that, and if you have any interest in learning mindfulness, now would be a great time, because mindfulness is basically all about being in the present moment. It just kind of teaches us to be in our bodies, to feel what a moment feels like, and to just kind of pull away from thinking, not stop thinking, because that's not a thing, but just pull away from it. So, it keeps us sane, because if we can kind of pull out of thinking, we can just have a moment to just kind of be in our bodies, okay? And so, while we're there, I'll say that the second way to stay sane is to breathe, people.
Breathe, okay? So, if you have any feelings of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, or you tend to worry, and your body starts to feel those signs, you're not breathing enough, my friend. Get some oxygen, and if you don't know how to breathe well, or like you've never specifically taken a breathing lesson, you could totally do that. Just go on YouTube.
I should record something. I should record a breathing lesson. No, you can look up, you can Google box breath.
Box breath is basically like you breathe in for four counts, you hold the breath for four counts, you breathe out for four counts, and you hold the breath for four counts. And you do it like until you can feel that your body's less tense. So, breathing is a good skill to use.
You're also going to want to walk while trying to remain sane. And the reason that we recommend walking, I didn't just like make this up out of thin air, we know that people that have walking habits, overall, their well-being is looking great. Well, I mean, not great, but like better than their counterparts who are not moving.
So I don't have any qualifiers there, okay? So I didn't dig very deeply into this, but I've read it a few times. And we're seeing good mental health benefits from walking. And that's like a mile a day, down to the mailbox and back.
As a therapist, what I've seen is when people spend a little bit of time walking outside every day, they just kind of start to feel better. That's all I'm going to say about that. So that brings me to number, I think it's four, go outside.
If you want to stay sane, get the hell out the house, people. Let's go outside. And so I don't care if it's raining or it's snowing or it's like sleeting or it's too hot or it doesn't actually matter.
In terms of your mental health and the effect of going outside, weather is not a factor. So just put your raincoat on. I'm in the Pacific Northwest and it's pissing rain right now, you guys, it's so lovely.
And I have a raincoat. It covers my bottom, so I don't have to worry about getting my butt wet while I'm walking in the rain. And I also have some rain boots and it kind of makes it fun, right? And so just like kind of just get all ready for the weather, but just go outside.
And so whether that's just like going and standing outside on your front porch for five minutes and doing some breathing, or whether it's going for that walk or just standing in your yard under your favorite tree. Yeah, do that. That'll help you stay sane.
And then the other thing, and maybe this is kind of specific to right now, but it couldn't hurt if we practice it more. We need to be practicing some radical compassion right now because the opposite of compassion, it ain't pretty. So if we want to work our way through hard times and stay sane, we're going to want to stay in a very functional emotional space.
So rather than be pissed off and angry, compassion can get the job done. Okay? Understanding can get the job done. So compassionate understanding don't mean that we won't fight for what we believe in, that we don't need to have, for example, right? We're all talking about the equipment that our frontline workers have right now and it's not enough.
And being compassionate to the situation, also there's room to get things done. But anger, resentment, and gosh, hostility, defensiveness, it's really hard to get things done with those. And it's also hard to sit with that.
It makes for just a lot of unpleasant emotions. So compassion. And it's as simple as just spending a few minutes repeating, like, may we be well.
Right? May we be happy. May we be healthy. May we be loved.
Just something as simple as that. Just like, just throw some good juju out there in the world, people. Helps you stay sane.
And on that vein, I'll add that gratitude goes a long way in hard times. Here's what doesn't go a long way. I had to drink my coffee.
Comparing each other's problems or they have it worse or you don't need to worry about this but I do, that doesn't really help. Just so you know. Looking around at what's wrong is not helpful in hard times.
But looking for what's good and what is a light and what makes us feel like we're going to be okay, looking for love, looking for beauty, that is very, very healthy and a great way to stay sane. Because I'll go just a tiny bit deeper into this and say, like, our brain is here to keep us safe and right now our brains are being really hypervigilant and so gratitude can basically, like, just counteract that. It can just, like, bring us down a little bit, help us remember what's important, what we have, right? And so then number six, I think, is patience.
We really need to have patience right now. So what does patience mean? Does it mean we sit idly by and let time pass before we'll just see what happens? Probably not. But patience means it's okay for things to go imperfectly, okay? And so I'm talking to a lot of business leaders right now and, boy, are people's expectations not being met, right, with what they wanted to do? And should I go forward? I need to pivot.
How am I going to run this company in this way, right, with this situation? And so just kind of understanding, we've been talking a lot about patience. Just, okay, just so here's what we're going to try. Go try that.
Come back. Let's talk about it some more, right? And I hear you, parents who are trying to get their kids to continue in the education process during the midst of this fiasco. I see you.
I'm out on social media. I hear you and I see you and I know it's really hard. And so can you find patience? And what does that specifically look like, right? We're all getting very wrapped up with our expectations right now.
And I'll tell you, mine have not gotten met. How are yours, right? So we just have to have patience, all of us, with each other, with ourselves. A little patience.
Okay. So the next thing that will help you stay sane is to filter your information, my friend. Filter your information, okay? That's all I'm going to say about that.
And I'm not meaning to sound condescending, but like do you need to know all the stuff? Because I know the media wants you to know all the things, every story, right? Most of them bad because then you'll keep coming back. But you have to assess whether you need that much information. Figure out what feels good to you.
I mean, nothing's going to feel great right now because we need to have information. So pick a couple websites, maybe something that's reputable, right? Like the WHO would be a good choice, or the CDC, or something that you feel like works for you and doesn't frighten you, but rather gives you information. And then filter, filter, right? Just try to let go of needing to know all the things that you have no control over, right? And I've been having this conversation a lot in session this week.
So I'll just expand and say, if you're doing what you need to be doing right now, that's enough. And if getting a lot of information is helpful and feels healthy to you, okay. But if it doesn't, figure out how to make a shift there.
Or you will go insane, my friend. There's so much information out there. So also within this, find a healthy relationship with your social media.
If there's people that you need to just kind of hide for 30 days, go ahead and do that. That's your right. And I don't mean like, hey, if anybody has an opinion that's different than yours.
But if there's a pattern of you feeling anxious or stressed out or overwhelmed, right, like you're not able to be emotionally regulated, figure out where the problems are and get rid of them. If social media is something that you really enjoy, then keep doing it in a way that's super helpful. You guys know I love social media.
My feed is clean. My feed is positive. It's empowering.
Man, people are beautiful and creative. You should see my feed. Anyways, so clean that thing up.
Get a healthy relationship there. Figure out how much time feels fine, how much feels too much. Be very specific.
So I'll move on to kind of the last part, which is connection. We have to connect. We have to connect in two ways.
I'm just going to talk about two ways of connecting. We have to connect to ourselves. Kind of important.
We're also being forced to connect with ourselves. What's coming up for you right now? What's feeling like it's worse or what's demanding your attention? You want to work on that, right? And how can you do that? You're here with me getting information. That's amazing, right? Keep working.
This is hard. It's a great opportunity to develop some new skills. So really get connected with yourself.
Figure out what's going on. What's going on with you, friend? And then connect with other people. And it feels exhausting to me right now to do that.
I need to call my dad. I miss him. I love him.
I need to call him. Anyhoo, but it's overwhelming, right? A lot of people are having to work at home. And now we're adding a lot of technology.
And then the phone call is kind of along those same lines. So it's hard. Maybe I'll send an email instead, right? But connect with each other in different ways.
I'm hearing a lot about people having video happy hours and family get-togethers. We just had a little 18th birthday party for my son the other night. And our whole family was there on our big TV screen.
So that was super fun. So to stay sane, we have to connect, you guys. We cannot become disconnected.
So be open-minded about what that's going to look like. So instead of being like, oh, this sucks, right, and there's nothing we can do, let's figure out different ways of connecting with each other. So I'll be here.
I'll be on social media, just like I always am, trying to help us connect with what's going on. Not just right now, but like what's going on always, which is like life's kind of hard, you guys. It's really difficult.
It's hard right now. Collectively, we're all having a collective experience right now. And so we need to take really good care of ourselves and stay sane.
So the list is basically, like, I would say things you need to kind of work into your routine on a daily basis. Yes, I just added 10 to 12 things to your to-do list. And they will all help you.
So if you need more information on how to work these things into your life, maybe I'll talk about that. Maybe I'll talk about that. But let's keep the dialogue going.
I really appreciate you being here and listening and just working to be the best person that you can possibly be. Because it's on. Like, life is happening right before our eyes.
All right. Take care of yourself. Hey, before you go, I just want to tell you a few more ways that I can provide you with the content you might be looking for.
If you're somebody who deals with overthinking, I actually have a free downloadable guide on my website about how to deal with overthinking. I also have a guide you can download that helps people who are thinking about exploring the therapy process. And it helps go from tip to tail.
Like, how do you hire a therapist? What kind of therapy do you need? And then just so you know, I'm all over my social media. I really enjoy providing good content on social media. So I'm on Facebook and Instagram, and it's Rebecca Hunter MSW.
And then within Facebook, I offer a private group for people who are interested in kind of learning the nuts and bolts of how to recover from anxiety. So just a reminder, I have my podcast, but I'm also here for people in a lot of different ways and just trying to get a lot of information out there. So thanks for listening.
Thanks so much for listening. This podcast is not meant to be a substitute for therapy, but I hope it was super helpful for you in any case. I want to be part of some much needed change, but I'm going to need your help.
Please subscribe and review the podcast, recommend it to your friends and family and share it on social media. We're living in the digital age, people. Let's do some good where we can.
All right. Visit my website at RebeccaHunterMSW.com to have access to resources, videos, and the show notes if that interests you. And again, I'm so grateful you're listening to Take Out Therapy.
Thanks.
