You are listening to Take Out Therapy, speedy sessions for everyday problems. This is your host, Rebecca Hunter. In my role as a private practice therapist, I don't really just tell people what to do, but in this podcast, I'm doing things differently.
In the next few minutes, I'm just going to be straight up with you about what to do in certain situations. Keep listening for awesome tips on how to live a more intentional and less reactive life. Clearly, this is not a substitute for therapy, but I guarantee it might help you.
Listen up. Hi, I'm just popping in to tell you that I started a new group on Facebook. It's a private group.
It's called the Anxiety Recovery Club. Come join us if you want to dig in a little bit deeper after my podcast episodes, and I'll be putting out content in that group that's really specific to people struggling with anxiety. So come join me.
The Anxiety Recovery Club. I'll see you in there. Hi, friend.
I'm so glad you stopped by. Today's short episode is going to be hopefully something really inspirational. I am going to talk about the fact that anything is possible.
So if you're not interested in making things possible, feel free to skip to the next episode. But if you'd like to hear some information about why and how anything you want is possible, stick around. I just finished attending a business conference, as you probably know if you follow me on social media, and it was very, very helpful because as I'm building the online side of my business, it can get really difficult.
I can get really stuck. There's a lot of things that I need to learn to grow. And so attending this conference was just such a perfect thing for me to do because I was surrounded by, first of all, brilliant, successful business people.
And they all have one thing in common. They have a belief and a mindset that their dreams are entirely possible. And frankly, what I saw is a lot of really strong business people living their dream.
So I want to talk about this a little because I think it's exciting. And it's something that, yeah, we definitely like see these memes and quotes all over the internet telling us our dreams are possible. But let me go into like why that is actually the case and how that can be in your life, in my life, right? I'm going to inspire us both today.
So what I'm specifically referring to is if there's something that you want to have happen in your life, the only way that it probably will happen is if you believe it will, right? Anybody ever follow Wayne Dyer? I miss that guy. He was such a motivational, beautiful, beautiful man. But he basically said a number of beautiful quotes.
One of the things he said is if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, right? You'll see it when you believe it. So let's dig into this a little bit. I think we can all understand the idea of our thoughts being really important.
And I see this a lot in therapy, basically, that people don't understand the importance of how they think. And so one of the things that I really help people with in the therapy office and also in my online course is to control or gain some power over their brains, right? Because the brain is a thinking machine. And unless we really program it to think what we want it to think, dude, that thing will go willy nilly.
It'll think things we don't care about. It'll get caught up in negativity and fear. So we really have to mind our thoughts, right? This means that we have to really pay attention to how we're thinking.
So if there's something in your life that you're kind of like, you know, I'd really like to make that happen. What I would say is the first place you need to start is your thinking, right? And so one of the ways to do that is to just imagine in your mind's eye if you already had what it is you want. And yeah, a lot of people call this manifesting, but it's also a nice way of training your brain about thinking about what direction you're moving in, right? When I sit in belief, right, and I really just wrap myself up in thoughts about, well, what would it be like, right, if I were able to, for example, reach my business goals? What is it that I want out of my life? Why am I doing this? Can I create a vision of that reality, right? I'm an imagination because we know that the brain hooks into imagination.
It's just one of the features of the brain that's kind of cool because it likes to imagine, right? And I don't know about you, but kind of the second part of this is like when you think that your dreams can come true and anything you want is possible and you really put some imagination and some vision behind that, your emotional state begins to change. Have you ever noticed that, right? Like if you just had a simple goal for the day of, for example, just exercising, right, and you kind of put yourself in that mind space and you give some thought to, well, what would today be like if I exercise? And you really kind of feel into how that might be. I'll tell you, your emotional state will change.
You might feel hopeful. You might feel more motivated. You might feel like there are less barriers to you getting your workout in, right? Your emotional state will change if you really spend some time thinking about making things happen the way you want them to happen.
And when you're thinking about this success and when you're believing that it can happen and it's possible, you start to have this emotion tied in here. Guess what happens next? You start to behave in a way that brings forward your goals. Basically, you start to act, you know, I'm kind of big on action, right? So in order to get to action, first we have to think about what we want, believe that it's possible and let our emotions follow that positivity, right? If I really want to do aerobic exercise every morning, which I just want to tell you, I don't, that's not my deal.
But if I really wanted to do it, right, and I believe that that's something that could be really good for me and I believe that I am the kind of person that gets up in the morning and does aerobic exercise and I really get my mind wrapped around this idea, I will start to feel like somebody who exercises in the morning and I will take action. That is just kind of the way the brain works. And then after I take action, guess what, friend, I'm going to get some results.
So we don't necessarily, um, this is not a, I mean, I think it's getting more common. I think we're understanding more and more about how the brain actually works. But there's still this idea of people not really believing that anything is possible.
And I have to wonder about that. And so let's talk about it a little. We're living in funny times.
I said, I said funny because I don't, I don't even know. These are complicated times. I don't know a good word to really describe it.
Some, sometimes when we, you know, put our head up in this world that we're living in, we just want to like go get in the bed again. Right? So we're surrounded by a lot of negativity. And if you watch the news or any media at all, you can really understand that we are living in scarcity culture.
What do I mean by scarcity culture? Well, what I mean is that we're sort of, um, made to think that we can't have it all. We're made to feel, um, limited and fearful. And when I say we're made to feel what I mean, you guys is the media is a marketing machine, right? And yes, they, they're, I think the underlying belief is that the media is here to give us information and yes, we need the information.
But don't forget, there's a lot of money wrapped up in how that information comes across to us. It's a marketing machine. And if you understand marketing at all, you understand that businesses use emotion to draw customers in.
And the media is no exception. And the emotion that they tend to use is fear and scarcity, right? And so it's very easy to get into a fear and scarcity mindset, which I'm telling you that is not going to lead anyone to feeling like they can have whatever they want. So it's necessary in order to sort of change the dynamic of this thing for you to focus elsewhere, right? Maybe don't focus on the media machine.
Maybe focus on the places that are beautiful in this life. There are so many amazing things going on. But if you watch the news, there's nothing good happening, you guys.
Remember, that's all a lot of it is because of the marketing that these businesses have to do to make money, basically. And we're feeding into it. So just keep in mind there's a scarcity culture.
And if you want to work on kind of creating a different reality, you have to get out of scarcity culture. OK, so the second thing that it's really helpful to know is that trauma, meaning anything in your life that's happened that's been adversely stressful, has kind of fed your brain this idea that life is hard, right, and your potential might be limited. So just depending on kind of what your trauma looks like, right, your trauma helped you form your beliefs about your life, about people, right, about your possibilities in this world.
And so if you're using your trauma as information about what is possible, that is going to limit you. That's what I'll say. So be careful when you're kind of thinking about what you want, right, not to use your trauma.
For example, say your parents were divorced and it was kind of messy. I think a lot of us went through that. What I would say is like just because your parents didn't have a dream relationship doesn't mean you can't.
That's not information about you. That's information about them. Right.
And if we know that everything we believe about ourselves in the world comes to us at a very early age, then what we're dealing with is we're using our trauma as kind of our belief system. And it's buried really deep. So we've got to get at that stuff.
Right. A lot of people have, for example, issues around money, money, money, money, super complicated subject. Most of us have issues about money based on our parents, our history, even trauma, financial trauma in our family generations back.
We know that those things come forward with each additional generation. So you kind of have to dig in there and find out like, well, what are my beliefs? Do I believe that anything is possible or do I have hang ups about money or do I not believe that wonderful relationships can exist for me? OK. And so that leads me to just kind of put a bold statement and say, if you aren't paying attention to your beliefs and your thoughts and your feelings and your actions, you're not going to be able to get to a place where you believe that anything is possible.
So you have to really start to form a different kind of relationship with yourself in which you believe that your dreams can come true. And so that requires for you to step back, slow down, figure out what you want. Right.
And start to wrap your brain around that idea. But if you're not paying attention, then you're basically going through life, just reacting based on old garbage, old subconscious beliefs that you haven't really poked at. And so I would encourage you to just keep that in mind, that we all have things that are kind of under the surface that we have to kind of pay attention to.
Right. If somebody wanted to make a lot of money, for example, that they had an underlying belief that money is scarce, it ain't gonna happen. So they need to start to pay attention to how that shows up in their life, pay attention to their trauma and how that affects their belief system.
Right. And get out of scarcity culture because that's really damaging. So I'm hoping that this information helps you.
Let me give you just a quick idea about something you can try, basically. So if what we know about change is that tiny little changes work much better for people than giant changes. So if you have a big dream, what I would say is like break that thing down a little bit, break it down into simple, small actions.
For example, I'll use just the classic, right? Want to drop a few pounds? OK. What's that about for you? What's your underlying belief about why that hasn't happened yet? OK. What's the circumstance that you're kind of sitting in? Do you take part in this idea, right, that women over 40 can't change their bodies or that are, I don't know, I mean, I'm just going off the cuff here, but do you take part in ideas that are going against what your goal is? So I would say if this is something you have interest in creating, then great.
Break it down into tiny little steps. What are five things you need to do in order to move towards being healthier? Right. It's because frankly, like it's not about the pounds.
I think it's really about health. And we have to stop focusing on numbers. So can you just become healthier? And what are some tiny things you can do there? And then just like spend some time sitting in a room where no one else is, right, and closing your eyes and dropping into your body and imagining if you felt healthier.
Imagine all the different aspects as if you already felt healthier, as if you were already at your goal. How would that be for you? And if one of your tiny steps is to eat less sugar or eat more vegetables, imagine your life as a person who enjoyed eating a lot of vegetables. Right.
And so you just kind of like think your way into a belief system that includes your dreams. Right. And that will lead you to a nice emotional place where you'll be like stoked.
Right. Like this is going to be great. And really a lot of people think like if you just think this is already great, I'm eating healthier.
I'm drinking more water. I'm going for a little walk every day. These are tiny little things.
We don't know one's holding a yardstick, guys. You have your own yardstick. Set tiny, achievable, but challenging goals for yourself.
Think in a way that guides you to get there. Your emotions will definitely follow. And then take action based on those wonderful feelings of possibility.
So as you guys might know, I have some big dreams. I'm over here like I've got my eye on the ball. I really want to bring mental health solutions to people out in the world.
Right. I do it in my office all the time. I really enjoy my work, but I want to help more people.
And in this time, we need helpers. We need people that are turning on the light. And so I just want to turn on this light for you and tell you that whatever you want, my friend, you can create.
And if you can't get there on your own, reach out, reach out to somebody who believes that you have the possibility to do whatever you want in your life. Get a support system, get a buddy. Right.
We're in this together, my friend. I'm here for you. So play around with these ideas and let me know how it works for you, because here's the thing.
I believe in myself and I believe in you, too. Let's do this. Thanks so much for listening.
This podcast is not meant to be a substitute for therapy, but I hope it was super helpful for you in any case. I want to be part of some much needed change, but I'm going to need your help. Please subscribe and review the podcast, recommend it to your friends and family and share it on social media.
We're living in the digital age, people. Let's do some good where we can. All right.
Visit my website at RebeccaHunterMSW.com to have access to resources, videos and the show notes, if that interests you. And again, I'm so grateful you're listening to Take Out Therapy. Thanks.
