Transcription for: "Own Your Part.mp4" (Uploaded File) (New Transcription)
I'm so glad you decided to stop in today. I just went on a complete rampage for the last, like, ten minutes. Because I could not figure out why my monitor would not display my laptop thing.
I was so mad. I was, like, just angry at this monitor. I was very focused on the fact that it's a piece of crap, that it never works, and I never once thought to myself Well, Rebecca, perhaps it's something that you have done or haven't done that is causing this problem. And so today, my friend. You'll get to benefit from my little temper tantrum as we talk about owning our own part of things.
I hadn't plugged the damn thing in if I had to be honest. Here's the thing. There are little situations and giant situations that come up all the time in life. And sometimes we do not examine our own pardon things enough. Today's episode is to help you remember that when things are going on, just start with yourself.
Just take a look at what is going on for you. That's all I wanna talk to you about today, and it's a very short episode. Because what we do when it hits the fan is we look around us and we are like that fan is broken. Right? We're like, that person is wrong to blame.
This situation is a bad situation. We look externally when things happen, because frankly, that's kind of the way humans are designed. But if we want to be just a little bit more dynamic or mature, we can look inside. I know it sounds cheesy, but we have do self examination. Because when we don't do self examination, they were not sort of like, maybe being authentic.
We're not kind of digging in and maybe being as vulnerable as we could be in our relationships and in situations. We're probably not getting what we want out of some situations. Right? When we own our part in things, It becomes like this opportunity. Yeah.
Problems become an opportunity to just be in relationship with ourselves. So, usually, what we do is things happen. Things don't go well. Right? We're in a pickle.
We're in some sort of situation. Well, will I say, I'll say, a common occurrence is just total work burnout. Like, somebody's just working and working and working And they're pissed. Right? What tends to happen when this situation or this setup is or if we're it's the same would apply.
Like, if you're unhappy at your job just in general, you just feel like there's a lot of negative feelings around it, Typically, we we first, like, glance our own way and we're like, I'm gonna really look at myself here. And we start to defend ourselves. Yeah. We're like, well, I'm the hardest worker in the whole company and they're still taking advantage of me and not paying me enough. Yeah.
Absolutely. Companies love people who will overwork. And not have boundaries. Right? But we defend ourselves instead of look at ourselves.
We deny that our behavior has an impact on our situation. Yeah. When we start to own our part, we stopped defending our behavior and saying like, well, what am I doing that's not working for me? Well, how am I even contributing to this situation? Right?
When we look it's interesting because sometimes we look at the situation and we look at it really shallow. Like, this company sucks. Okay? So this is actually a very typical setup in the therapy office, and it's a lot of the reason that a lot of people come to therapies because they're burned out. They work too damn much.
They don't have any Like, they don't feel like they have any empowerment or authority at their job to ask for what they need and what they want. And, frankly, like, what's reasonable and they really wanna do well. And I was totally one of these people. When I was in when I was in community mental health, I had a full time caseload and I worked part time. Because I wanted to be I wanted to prove that I was worth them hiring me part time.
For one thing, I was the only part time person they'd ever hired. And I really let's see. I I didn't have boundaries, I guess. I wanted to be like good at my job. I guess is what I would say.
Right? Like, I wanted to be the good therapist. I wanted to get good results. And so it was like, well, if you want to get good results, Rebecca, you got to study extra and you got to stay late and you got to work harder than everybody else. Yeah.
There were things that were happening where if I had owned my part and I have totally owned my part now. Yeah. Of course. Einstein's twenty twenty, baby. Then it would have worked out a little bit sooner.
I would have understood myself a little bit better. Then, not now. Then, when I needed to quit, and get out of there because it was a totally toxic environment. But I defended my need to be there by saying, What will happen if I leave? Yeah.
We have to own our part. We think about things on this very shallow level. We think, like, yeah, this company sucks or this job sucks or and this is how it always is. We don't think deep enough about things. Like, how is this impacting me?
How am I impacting this? Or we think really, really, really deep. Like, this is how my work and situation affects me emotionally and, like, internally. And it's, like, we we sort of spend time right there, and we think, like, this is how I'm owning my part. I'm saying, this isn't working for me, and I'm really triggered.
And this is just is awful. It's not a good setup. But we miss the obvious piece of like, yeah, but you're choosing to do it. Again and again and again. And this is just humans.
Right? Like, yeah, of course, we're choosing to do it again. We're just patterned machines friend. Like, this is higher order thinking. It's advanced humaning is what I call it.
So, you know, like, as I'm sitting here rolling this out, own your part. I'm like, Ugh. Maybe I have some situations. In which I think about them so deeply because I'm a therapist. Like, I think about things really deeply.
I think about things on a deep psychological level. But I think like I miss stupid cues or silly things within relationships my actual relationships that causes me to not own my part. Like, I think there's mistakes that I make because I'm looking at it too deeply. And it's like, well, dude, just pick up the phone and call. Yeah.
Right? So we have to own our own part in everything. And this is a great opportunity. Because it's just how we learn. Right?
We take a situation and if we can own our part, then we can grow. We can be more at peace. We could be more authentic, to be honest. We can be in relationship with ourself. So there's just a few questions that we wanna ask when things are happening.
In order to own your part, just try to ask a different question. Instead of what the what is up with them, which is what we all ask all the time. Just come inward and say, like, what's going on friend? What's happening with me right now? What am I feeling?
What actually is happening? Like, so, you know, like, literally happening? What is the setup? What is the situation? What is the circumstance?
And what is your behavior? What are your feelings? What's happening for you? Right? When we own our part, we have to look at our part.
We have to show up. We have to be present, which is super duper hard. It takes time. It takes, like, go sit somewhere and think about this thing or write about this thing. Yeah.
That's what personal growth requires. Are you part of Takeout Therapy Club? Because if you're not, you're missing out on the opportunity to just learn how to do personal growth work. I've been doing it since May. Since the end of April.
Yeah. Early May. And it's funny, like, people join for, like, three months, and then they're out. They're, like, thank you so much. I got what I needed.
I'm gonna go work on this stuff. I'll come back later. It's awesome. Anyways, if you wanna do this stuff with me, On a continual basis, come join Takeout Therapy Club. But in the meantime, you can own your part.
I will own my part. And we can think to ourselves, is there some other way I could have done this handled this behaved here? Is there some other way I could have thought about this? What's my part? In all of this, in whatever this situation is.
What's my part in the fact that I work at a job that I can't stand? Right? Which so many people are having that experience. I feel so lucky. I love my work.
I actually love my work too much. I really need to get a life. Anyways, Right? Own your part. I am learning how to relax.
And I did recently read a book on my Kindle, that was really good. I can't remember the name of it. I'm owning my part. I will be here with you right alongside you as you learn to own yours too. It's all about asking good questions and just being in a kind relationship with yourself.
Let's keep talking about it. I'll see you around. I'm so glad you joined me today, and I hope it was helpful. Always make sure to get the appropriate level of help for your unique situation. Check out the resource at takeout therapy dot com, and hopefully you can find something there.
As always, thanks so much for showing up and doing your work. Which in a way changes the level of emotional development in your community, in your town, maybe even in the world, yeah, it's kind of a big deal. This podcast is intended as education and prevention, not medical or mental health treatment. See you next time.
