📍 📍 Thanks for listening to Take Out Therapy, where you can improve your mental health, emotional stability, and life skills in less than 20 minutes a week. Simple, straightforward, authentic advice and education, right from a private practice therapist and anxiety expert. I'm Rebecca Hunter, and this is better mental health, delivered.
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📍 Well, hello there listeners. I'm so glad you're back today for another episode of takeout therapy. Uh, did you notice I was gone for a couple of weeks? Well, It finally happened. Moving day. Take out therapy is now headquartered in the Southwestern United States. I'm pretty excited. The desert though. My goodness.
It's so beautiful and sunny and also. Like there's a lot to learn. There's a lot of prickly stuff, a lot of squiggly stuff. Um, totally different than the Pacific Northwest. I'm really excited just to have this new experience. And I thought like for today on the podcast, I would just quickly kind of recap what my experience of a pretty big transition.
And we lived in our last town, our last house for almost 19 years. So that's a pretty big move, , that we made. , I thought like I've learned some stuff. I always try to learn something from every situation that I put myself in or go through. I always try to reflect on the backside and go like, okay. Well, what was helpful?
So my goal today for this short podcast episode is there are things we can all do when times are change, oriented or turbulent, actually to make it easier on ourselves and actually get something valuable or helpful out of the experience. And I try to model this, , on the podcast because I think it's a life skill and we don't learn it.
And it's just kind of turning. Something that could be really negative into possibility. . So, um, yeah, we moved for weeks. I have been in it with this move. Also had a house for sale, which has so much cleaning. It's so much cleaning. It's like, what are you going to do today? Oh, I was going to do this, this and this, but now we have a showing.
So I'm going to clean.
So I'm happy to be through that. , Packing boxes dealing with logistics, right? Like dealing with movers. And the emotional parts of it too. Right? Like we were saying goodbye to friends, to family, which is really hard. And one of our kids we're moving further away from so. The past few weeks for me have been a lot. Damn I saying it's been terrible.
No, it's been all over the map. It's been really beautiful, really lovely, really hard. A lot of work, . And so when it's stressful, we're, you know, chain again, like these big change oriented times of life hit. We really would do well to just sort of, if, if it's something like this, a move. Then we can see it coming.
We can meet up with the situation, having already planned our strategy. And so that's what I did this time. Was it perfect? Uh, now. There were some really ugly moments. And, last month on the club. We did a whole deep dive on conflict. Which was really fun.
We talked about how to identify like your conflict history and your story and then come into the like present day life and figure out what you want your beliefs, ideas and values to be about conflict. So helpful. And then we went over a whole bunch of conflict tools. You know, we learn so many tools in therapy trainings about how to help people deal with conflict that never really get, I feel like people never really, , get taught these tools.
That's the whole point of the Take Out Therapy Club, to help people do their personal growth work on their own time in their own way. But like The, setup is good topics that are super relevant to everyday life. Anyway, if you're interested in joining Take Out Therapy Club, I'll give you a month free.
All you have to do is go to TakeOutTherapy. com and enter the code LISTEN24 when you get to the checkout. That's it. I even put an easy link below. Your free trial starts now. Okay, that's my ad for the Take Out Therapy Club. Thank you. So, we did conflict. A lot of conflict. And I was in the middle of my move and it didn't go perfectly.
There was a lot of, kind of scrapping it out at times, but, you know, If we kind of know that that's the territory we're going to be getting into, we can better prepare. Yeah. So today, I want to talk to about a couple things that saved my butt during my recent move that I really recommend you could incorporate when there's a big change or extra stress coming along the path in your life.
And hopefully these things will help you just kind of roll with the hard parts. And handle things without. Abundance of extra drama, emotional investment, or a bunch of conflict. Right. So these are just kind of three. Things that thinking back, these were definite strategies for me. The first one is that. I went into the whole thing, not expecting trouble. And I think that this is a good strategy. Like don't always expect things to be hard.
Don't always focus on what could go wrong. Like, um, a negative attitude actually tends to bring on negativity. Have you ever noticed that, like when I'm all defended in advance of needing to be defended this, get a little Rocky. So this really helped me out having this attitude of, you know, what. I'm going to, um, if something comes up. I'm just going to deal with it then. Right. To not expect trouble rather than be defended against like movers.
Which can I just tell you something really quick??
The moving industry is so interesting. And apparently. There's a lot of, scamming and bad movers. And I had no idea. . But I learned in the beginning and it could have really impacted the whole process for me. But I just decided, , I'm not going to expect trouble here.
I'm going to do my best to navigate the situation. And then if something comes up, we'll deal with it. . So, yeah, I guess that's my number one, , strategy for dealing with change oriented times, like don't expect trouble. Expect good things look for good things, make good things happen. And the deal is, is people are like, well, what if I'm just like, you know, being all positive and then something bad happens.
Listen, your brain and your nervous system and your body system will always spot trouble. Don't worry. It actually does that to the extent that it makes us miserable. When we don't have to be. So another idea is just to use your intuition, don't expect trouble, , keep positive attitude, but then also like use your intuition. Yeah, that worked really well for me.
And, , a little less drama. And then my other thing that I wanted to talk about was like, there's so much value in just keeping things simple. Listen,
I tend to overcomplicate things. I had this whole idea about stickers and color coding. And, , how were you going to label every single box in a , certain way and taking things, uh, that I was going to look through later, that maybe we don't necessarily want or need, but I just was like, oh, Now. I just ditched all of that.
I started to realize like, oh my gosh, I'm like totally overtaxing myself here and I don't have to. So from then on, it was like, keep it simple. Let things be messy, a little unorganized or kind of unclear sometimes. It's okay. We don't always have to know how everything's going to unfold and we don't always have to try to control every single little element. Keep it simple. . So , you can just apply this to life.
, we don't always know how a relationship date or a move is going to go. And it's okay to just go with the flow. And keep things really simple because overthinking over-complicates things. And so when I say keep it simple, I don't mean like, just in how you structure things or How much stuff you have or whatever I'm saying, like emotionally. Keep it simple. I don't think about things that aren't happening yet. I promise you'll be prepared to handle things as they come. And I was, you know, without like overtaxing myself emotionally and mentally on the side of the whole thing, when things would come up, I'd be like, oh, okay.
Like I have the mental energy to deal with this because I I'm not are all over to the side. Overthinking about or ruminating about something that hasn't even happened yet. And so as usual, probably my biggest tip for you. If you have transitioned coming up, or if you're in the middle of kind of some stress or change, Oh, my goodness practice, letting go. And when I say practice, I do mean practice because this is a very MPM.
Perfect. Task letting go, oh my gosh, we just, we hold on so tight to everything. Our ideas about how things should be, that the way things we want. Things to feel the way we want things to look right. Like. Oh, my goodness. We hold on so tight to everything, every person, every way of being, and honestly like humans are very change resistant.
It's part of. Um, our makeup. It's how we roll. . But. What I've realized in this process of this huge transition, huge change, which I'm still way on the front end of by the way. Uh, you'll be hearing more about. Probably it's like go, I just literally started my life all over again.
But here's the thing. Sometimes in life. For one thing to go the way we actually do want it to go. We need to let go of like three. Or 20 other things. You know, Our ideas, our expectations, our wants our needs. Maybe. Our crap.
Letting go of stuff is really hard. Like letting go of people. Is really hard. I had people, I have people that have been involved in my life on a daily basis. And trusting that , These are people that I'm always going to have in my life. The context is changing for sure. You know, Letting go. Of the idea that it has to be one way or another. Just see what's what. Keep it simple.
And don't expect trouble. Yeah, this was basically my general philosophy while moving. And the other thing that I did that really helped me was that I didn't work very much. , and I didn't do a lot of optional things for the past few weeks, but I ramped up my own self care because it it's like when you're going through something big. It's hard. It, doesn't only it, like, sometimes it's hard on your body, but it's also hard on your emotional life.
And it's hard on your mental space that you have. You know, so it's really important to rest and breathe and care for your nervous system, your body, your health, your mental health. Yeah. So I hope my little reflections today are helpful for you in some way, you know, hard times change base times turbulence and transition.
It's all inevitable. I mean, I'm open to it. I'm trying for an adventure over here. I really want my life to be an adventure. So that means that I'm going to go through some stuff. And what I've learned is when we have a generally positive outlook and we're willing to keep things simple and we understand why. Letting go is so very important.
It makes the chaos somehow better. Doesn't it? So what I would say is practice these skills in the off season because my friend. Change is always coming. And I'll see you again soon. Take care of yourself and thanks for listening.
📍 Thanks so much for joining me today. To support this free resource, subscribe, review, and pass an episode along to a friend in need. And always, please get the level of support that you need for your situation. Want a full session? Just reach out. I'm here to help. Head to takeouttherapy. com for lots more resources and to join my community.
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